i think mormons are awesome.

HEY. STUPID PEOPLE. Would y'all please back off the Mormons? Okay, I know they come to your house and stuff, but at least they come at a decent hour and not at like 6 am or something. And they certainly don't badger you to join. If you say, "No thanks, I'm not interested", they just tell you to have nice day and are all nice and move on. Someone actually told me that Mormons are nuttier than Scientologists. And then I said, "Excuse me while I go roll around on the floor laughing."

This person, of course, has never met a Mormon in his entire life and therefore has no clue what he's talking about. He said they steal rituals from the Masons. This intrigued me because I was like, "Aren't they a little, I dunno, secretive about that kind of thing?" And there are other nonsense rumors, like Mormons don't let non-Mormons in their church. I thought this was odd because I have certainly been to a Mormon church with my awesome aunt and uncle and their babies. Then they said something about blood sacrifices and how they refuse to speak to people who've left the church and then I stopped talking to him because none of that's true and he's stupid.

Actually, the only time I've ever been lectured about anything by these apparently fearsome creatures [insert confused face here] was when I said I wanted babies but no husband and my aunt totally jumped my ass. My mother did this, too, and we're Unitarian Universalists. I have, of course, changed my mind about that children without any other support business. So, to the Mormons of the world, I think you guys pretty much rock.

[I do NOT want to replace 'Mormons' with 'morning'. Ugh!]