haunted house on crack pt 2.

They had that Sahara from The Ring STARING AT ME, and then directing us where to go (that was pretty wtf-worthy, actually, the "patients" telling us where to go). That thing never ended. It wasn't a huge structure, but they made it all twisty turny and stuff, so it went on way longer than it should have. They had Michael Myers running around, and also Freddy Krueger, and there was a lot of pitch-black fucking darkness and I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO GO and then there was a lot of flashing lights and people with epilepsy should never go there ever.

One of the first rooms we went into was weird. There were all kinds of squiggly red lights reflecting off of everything and I freaked because that fucking noise from The Grudge was ECHOING OFF THE WALLS because these people ARE EVIL and attempting to run through these things is not an option because THERE'S NO LIGHT. And then we went into a room that had one of those bridges that, like, rotate and makes everyone sick and the Burger King I had for dinner wasn't happy with me. A lot of people popped out of places and jumped down from ceilings and it was horrible GOD. One of the last rooms was the padded cell, which was exciting because I was like, "We're in a haunted crazy house, WHERE IS THE PADDED ROOM?"

Only the padded room was FUCKED UP. Jason Voorhees jumped out at us WITH A REAL MACHETE AND HELD IT TO MERU'S HEAD. And then he smacked it on the floor and it SPARKED and we got the hell out of there REAL FAST. I wish I would've brought my machete in because mine is like 18 inches long and would've made his its bitch. And then some girl with a baseball bat was like PICK A DOOR ON THE LEFT OR RIGHT and we all know I have to argue about shit, so I pointed out that there was a door in front of us and she got like all irritated and shit. It was great.

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. In one room some guy swinging on a bar on the ceiling jumped down and was all in my face, but he was kinda hot, too, so it was cool. We finally got the hell out and it was AWESOME. But by then it was almost ten and Meru had to work the next day and I was exhausted, so we just left before entering the Factory. The most lolz-worthy was the interpretive dance stuff they had going on. These kids were all lip syncing and dancing to My Chemical Romance and Panic! At the Disco and also, for whatever reason, Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. Look, I don't know, the target audience was 15 year olds. The only decent one was when these people did Time Warp from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Then we left and drove back and yapped incessantly about everything ever (mostly about the WEIRD LITTLE CLOWN GUY) and I came home, posted the head-chopping off thing everywhere, and fell asleep. Thankfully I take Ambien to sleep which rids me of any unnecessary nightmares, so I was good in that department.


So that was awesome.