whaaaat.

Well, that's the end of that relationship.

Let me tell you about this situation. Last night, after not hearing from Mike for like, 5 days and not seeing him for about 2 weeks, I figured it was time to take matters into my own hands and A) see what the hell was up, or B) break it off. I so did not see this coming. So I walked the three or four blocks to his place, in the crazy humid ass weather, saw his car in his driveway, knocked on the door, walked in the house, went to his room, opened the door, and I pretty much almost died.

There was another girl sitting on his bed sitting right next to her, and they'd been "watching a movie," but don't give me that bullshit, I know what happens when someone "watches a movie" with the lights out and a door closed. So he reached up and hugged me like it was nothing, like this was a normal occurrence. Wait, seriously? It was like he thought that if he didn't freak out, I wouldn't freak out, which I didn't. And then I took a look at the girl (Amber, apparently), and realized she looked like a goddamned chipmunk. Actually, she looked like me, in chipmunk form. Let me tell you, it was like looking into a Twilight Zone mirror of fug or something.

Dark red hair up in a half bun (like I always wear my hair), green eyes (!!!), glasses (!!!!), and I would say she was around my height and weight, but her teeth were kind of fucked up. AND UGLY. I thank God that I am stable (and possibly that I was too shocked to do anything) because if this had happened six months ago, there would've some Jerry Springer shit going on. So the whole time this is happening, my brain is only dimly aware of what's going on. The whole thing is hazy because it was so surreal. I mean. . .who does that? So I called him a son-of-a-bitch and walked out and I was in my This Is Not Acceptable mode, where I get very calm and pissed at the same time. He comes out after me (quite obviously stoned), like nothing was going on. It was fantastic.

Best. Break-up. EVER.

He was spewing all kinds of bullshit, "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE REALLY I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T CALLED I WILL CALL YOU I PROMISE YOU'RE OVER REACTING PLEASE I'M SORRY." Mmm, no. First of all, I'm pretty sure it really is what it looks like. Second, you can call, but I'm not picking up the phone. Third, I am most certainly not over reacting. If anything I'm under reacting. Over reacting would've included me stabbing someone in the fucking head, and possibly setting some things on fire. Over reacting does not include me being completely calm about things and walking away nicely. Last, don't you dare make anymore promises to me ever again. You also "promised" not to hurt me again, and not to be a complete ass.

Why I choose to date drug addicts, idiots, douche bags and/or sociopaths is completely beyond me. So, that's the end of that. Thank God I didn't sleep with him. I really don't fancy another pregnancy test. And wouldn't that be a bitch? Anyway, I called Meru after all of it happened who said she would come right over after work (which she did 'cause she's awesome) and I came home and wrote a Livejournal entry and then I got a bunch of comments and yeah I love my friends. I told Mike's brother Scott what happened and he's like the greatest little guy ever, so there was a lot of LOL's at the "chipmunk" comment. Scott rocks.

I think the most amusing thing about the whole situation was (besides the girl being ugly WTF) the fact that one of my first thoughts was, "Aww, man, now I'm gonna have to redo my Top 8 on MySpace. GOD THIS SUCKS."

Fin.