girly bits ahoy! [actually hpv vaccine stuff]

This is old news, but I'm still blogging about it.

Am I the only chick who's totally psyched about the HPV vaccine? Those super conservative preacher guys are all pissed off because they claim that it'll encourage women to be sluts or something. These are, of course, men who do not get cervical cancer. And anyway, God forbid anyone have any fun in this country, right? They said that about birth control pills and condoms and God knows what else. As if people weren't having sex for fun before those came out. They were, for those of you who've been locked in a basement all your lives. People just don't die as much anymore, whether it's from STI's or having 17 children and being pregnant all the time, or both. It happens.

Don't give me the whole, "We don't need to have our daughter tested because she's pure!" bullshit, either. First of all, she's probably not, as clueless as you sound. I'm sure the birds-and-bees talk you gave was very informative and that's why she thinks peeing or jumping up and down after sex will prevent pregnancy, or that she won't get pregnant her first time. Second of all, even she is, she's not always going to be. Even if she does save that virginity for the honeymoon, there's still no guarantee the groom won't turn out to be a douche bag. He might very well go out and get HPV from some random chick. Or dude. You never know, man. NO EXCUSES. You get your daughter that vaccine.

. . .

Ohhh no. Doctor, vaccine, birth control. I have to get a pelvic exam next month. Urgh, why is that necessary for getting your birth control refilled? If it didn't help with the whole wonky period thing, I'd swear it off. Am I the only person who thinks that pelvic exams were invented by a sadist? Honestly. Obviously a dude came up with this procedure, 'cause they don't have to get a speculum shoved up in their vaginal canal so that a doctor can poke at their girly bits and check out their cervix. Since they have the luxury of not having the complicated equipment we have. And we have to do that every year from the time we turn 18 or are sexually active until the end of the world or something.

Well. We don't have to. Just ask my mom. When she was looking at the speculum at Dr. Landry's, she was all amazed that it was plastic and disposable.