horrors.

So, okay, it's almost dark outside and I'm sitting here reading about the 100 Scariest Movie Moments according to some guy on some website. And I'm gonna tell you, he ain't lyin'. There's some scary shit going on in those scenes. See, this is why I have nightmares about being locked in a building with zombies trying to claw their way in. Can't help it, I guess. I just like being scared. Which is normal, I guess, lots of people like being scared, but pretty much pitch a massive fit when it happens.

I was just thinking of stuff that scares me. Since it's not Halloween, this might not be appropriate, but I don't really care all that much. So, what scares me? Here's a nice list.

- First and foremost, I have a unnatural fear of zombies. Yes, zombies. About two years or so ago, I thought it would be a simply fab idea to rent the original Dawn of the Dead, because it looked silly. Oh my god I have never been so scared in my life until I watched the remake. It was bad enough when zombies just kinda shuffled along and ate brains, but now the fuckers can run, too? And our house is so not equipped for a zombie outbreak, which could happen at any moment. Our house has too many windows, and it's on cinder blocks, meaning there's a rather sizable gap between our floorboards and the ground. Now, there are things that are built around the openings of under the house, but this doesn't really help when one of those things is completely knocked down. I'm pretty sure zombies would crawl under there. This must be fixed.

- Secondly, I hate things that crawl. Okay, babies are fine. They have to crawl. I don't like it when something. . .unnatural crawls. And I don't like bugs, either. Especially spiders omg. I didn't have this fear until I saw The Excorcist and saw Linda Blair crawling backwards down the stairs and being generally freaky. I didn't mind the head-turning, or the pea soup vomit, or any of that, but when she started crawling down stairs, I thought it might've been a better idea for the rest of the family to pack their shit up and leave, and set the house on fire before they drove off. OH and you know that scene during Poltergeist II when the dad drinks the rest of the tequila and swallows the worm, too? And then he, like, vomits up a really big worm and the worm turns into some kind of. . .thing. . .that totally crawls out of the room with a big creepy ass smile? I hate that scene so much.

- Thirdly, children who are in horror movies are bad news, mmkay? And especially if they have really, really blonde hair and big, blue, soulless eyes! Every time I see a kid like that, I just know I'm gonna be devoured by the kid and their relatives. :|

- Fourthly, I'm not so much fond of when I go in the bathroom and the shower curtain's closed and it's like four in the morning. I don't why people insist on closing shower curtains. I always, always have to check behind that curtain to make sure something is not going to pop out and eat me while I'm trying to take a pee.

- Other things I fear include closets, clowns that look particularly evil, and mirrors. Why mirrors? Well, why not mirrors? This is part of the reason I'm pleased about having our bathroom sink broken. It means I don't brush my teeth in there, therefore I don't have to fear looking up and seeing something staring back at me when I come up from spitting out toothpaste. I have two large mirrors in my room, and one faces directly opposite my bed. And that's why I sleep on my side away from it. As for the closets and clowns, does it really need explaining? Monsters live in closets. Clowns are the worst thing anyone ever thought up. I mean, come on, when's the last time a clown succeeded in cheering you up rather than scaring the piss out of you? Except Krusty the Clown, of course.

- Oh, and one last thing. There is an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that scares me. I believe it's called "Hush" or something, and it's the scariest tv show episode to ever exist. Why? Well, people who're familiar with the Buffyverse will understand. For those of you who are not, the episode involves these creatures called The Gentlemen and these other little dudes called The Footmen, who come into Sunnydale and steal everyone's voices so that they kill people and take their hearts and no one can call for help. The episode is incredibly eerie, mostly because of the silence, but also because of The Gentlemen. Rather than walk, they just float along, and have very horrible grins on their faces. The Footmen are bound in straightjackets, and walk/run in a very ape-like fashion. It's rather terrifying. For this reason, it's kind of freaky to go outside at night, especially after watching the episode, 'cause I'm always sure I'll see those guys floating around. *shivers*

And now I'm gonna go back to reading 100 Scariest Movie Moments, complete with pictures and all, even though I'm all kinds of freaked out. Hope you enjoyed my mild paranoia!