goodbye, 2006.

This has been one hell of a year.

No, really. It has. I have gone from being completely antisocial to not being able to sit in my house for more than a few hours. I'm different now. Everyone's different. I've lost some friends, made some friends, and grown even closer with current friends. I got a job and made good grades in school. I went the whole year without falling in love, which might just be a miracle. I also started to appreciate my family even more than I already have.

So now I'm going to wish everyone a happy new year and hope that 2007 is amazing for you. :) I would be out partying, but I have to work tomorrow morning, so I'm being forced to go to sleep no later than 12:30 am. Get good and drunk for me, and kiss someone you love. ^_^

excuses, excuses.

Since I haven't written much at all in any of my journals in the past few weeks, I think I'll update you guys on the month of December. I started working at Blockbuster a few weeks ago. I really love my job, and my co-workers are really great, too. My second day there, this guy started flirting with me. He was kind of goofy and had lovely eyes. Meru decided to get her bellybutton pierced, and since he's into piercings and tattoos and stuff, I invited him along. We all had a bunch of fun, and he was really great.

So we started dating, I guess. But then last Wednesday I was cleaning my room a bit and my phone rang. He was calling to tell me he didn't want a serious relationship. I was little confused because we'd been dating for a little more than seven days, so I wasn't sure when we discussed this serious relationship business. I was pretty pissed the hell off, though. That night I hung out with my cousins (who are fantastically wonderful and I love them a lot omg) to get my mind off of this random occurence. By the time I had to go to work the next day, I was much more calm about the whole situation. He was getting off at 5 and I was working 5-12, so there was a 10 minute window where I would be put into his presence.

I walk into work, smile at everyone, grab the office keys from Krystal, and head to the back to put my stuff up. He then started running after me and said something like, "I got some traumatic news last night." And in a slightly uninterested tone I said, "Oh, what's that?" And he says, "I found out I'm going to be a dad."

Words cannot explain how much of a WTF moment that was. In about 10 seconds I forgave him and acknowledged that he had given me the only excuse that would've worked in this situation. Good luck to him with all that, since I am so not into helping with a baby. I haven't actually talked to him lately since I haven't worked with him since then, but whatever.

I'm actually fairly proud of myself for not freaking out and shutting down and crawling into bed as soon as that happened. A year ago I probably would've stopped working at Blockbuster because of that, but it's so pointless now. I mean, it's not like I fell in love with him or anything. He did have really great tattoos, though. Sad.

Bah Humbug

A picture I took of my dad at Thanksgiving made it into The Times online "Reader Christmas Photos" Gallery. I tried to link to it but the site is being wonky. Jerry is photo number 31.

I'm disapointed it didn't make it into the paper. I think it's a much better photo than the ones selected but what do I know?

I also noticed that there's a "buy this photo" button you can click to buy that picture. So who gets the money? The Times gets paid for a photo I took? Nothing was said about this when I submitted the photo. Geez, I better shut up I'm starting to sound like the Bah Humbug.

New Family Photo

Since we started this blog we've talked about getting a family photo up on the page. So today when we went to the Louisiana Boardwalk, I bugged everyone while we rode the trolley so I could get a decent picture of the three of us. It does have a bit of a myspace angle happening.

Charlie and Katee said I antagonized them too much but now if I'd really wanted to get on their last nerve I would have made everyone wear a red or green shirt. And stop off for a teeth whitening session. (Kathryn)

No Driving with Momma

I've been forbidden to teach Katee to drive. She kicked me out yesterday. So Charlie's taking over the driving lessons.

But really it's not her, it's me. I think she's wounded that I'm stompin' on the floor of the passenger seat side trying to find the brake. She did drive up Thrill Hill (Creswell Drive) yesterday. Did great! However that didn't keep my heart from flickering like a strand of cheap Christmas lights from the dollar store.

work!

Last night was my first night at work, and I had to close. Woohoo.

By the end of the night I was, like, limping. Gonna have to get used to walking around for 8 hours. BUT it's okay because I like getting moneys. :D

Look, I'm sorry about not updating much lately, but it's the holidays, you know? I am so exhausted, haha. I finished all my finals and so now I'm just awaiting the final grades, which hopefully don't suck.

Anyway, just a little update, to anyone who cares. :)

shine on.

So today might have been the best day ever.

A few days ago I put in an application at Blockbuster. Then about 24 hours later, the manager called and asked me to come in for an interview today at 3 pm. So at about 1:45, when I was trying to dry my hair and watching Friends, someone knocked on the door. It was my friend Lydia and a mutual friend Sam. We talked for a little bit, and Lydia let me in on a piece of interesting information.

Apparently, Mike's [ex boyfriend] roommate kicked him out because of Mike was being himself. As in, the world's biggest asshole. They got into an argument of some sort, and the roommate said something to piss Mike off. So the roommate goes up to Mike and attempts to smooth things over and was like, "Hey man, are we cool?" Because, you know, they were roommates and that's an uncomfortable situation. But Mike, who is unable to just let shit go, brought up what the roommate said in what I can imagine as a nasty, bratty tone of voice, and the roommate handed Mike his rent check and told him to get the hell out. So now he's back living with his mom.

Also, I think he lost his job at Exxon. You know, sometimes when I think about that boy it just makes me sad. I'm not really sure why he's so angry. Maybe he's bipolar and manic all the time. I don't know. I just know that when we were together I saw past all of his faults and I know he can be a wonderful person, but he can be so mean and uncaring.

Anyway, so that news kind of amused me. They left and I went off to my interview. And I use the term interview loosely because I talk to the manager for like 10 minutes. Our conversation went something like this:

Manager: Now, you don't seem to have much work experience.
Me: No, but I did a lot of volunteer work for a horseback riding place for kids with special needs.
Manager: Hmm. Did you ever do fund raisers or anything involving sales for them? Because we're a pretty small branch and have to do a lot of sales stuff to stay in business.
Me: Well, not really, but I'm very experienced in selling Girl Scout cookies.
Manager: [laughs] That's sales. Okay well, I like what I've heard, so why don't you come in on Saturday at about 2 and fill out some paperwork and we'll do a little training.
Me: . . .Okay!
Manager: Oh yeah, and khakis.
Me: What? [I thought he said "Kathy" and was not sure if he'd called me that by accident because this happens often]
Manager: You'll need a pair of khakis.
Me: OH! That's fine!

And that is the story of how I got a job at Blockbuster in the span of about 10 minutes. I'm also fairly cute and bouncy so that might've had something to do with it. I went home and climbed into bed because it is so very, very cold outside, and I called Sara back (she'd called during the interview) and will maybe possibly be doing something with her tomorrow night. Then Meru called to see how the interview went and we squealed quite a bit for a few minutes until she her break was over.

Man, I totally live for days like this. (Katee)

[Edit: Sara called while I was in the interview, but it didn't actually ring. Just in case people are concerned about these things. I know when to turn my phone on silent.]

Bifocals and Children's Books

Tuesday the eye doctor told me I needed bifocals (moment of silence for this next step in getting older). Katee also needed new glasses so I did not splurge on the no-line bifocals because I'm cheap even though my vanity really outweighs my cheapness but my brokeness outweighs my vanity (... rock, paper, scissors...).

That same day I went to Betty's Books and bought six children's books: Junie B. Jones, The Boxcar Children and Encyclopedia Brown.

I took Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus to work. I've never thought about putting a cover on any book I've ever read but as I got out of the van I thought "maybe I should've covered these in brown paper..."

On the other hand, you gotta love a book that's only 69 pages long and contains paragraphs like "The bus made a big roar. Then a big puff of black smelly smoke came out of the back end of it. It's called bus breath, I think."

My new glasses with their little lines in the lenses will be ready next week. They are, however, encased in a stylish black and pink plastic frame, almost as swell as my first pair of cat's eye frames with their little sparkly rhinestones. (Kathryn)

almost done.

So Mom decided it would be a good idea to have like 78 blogs or something and is trying to get the hang of managing them all, so that's why she's been neglecting this one a little. I, on the other hand, have been getting ready for finals which are next week. I am so very, very relieved about this semester being over. Next semester I'll be off to LSUS. Wee. That is, if I can ever get a hold of my advisor. I've e-mailed her and haven't gotten a response, so I'm going to try calling her, and then if that doesn't work I'll just go up there myself. I don't get why professors advise us. It's hard enough for them to keep up with all their classes. I find that they're all generally pretty absentminded. They should just have people whose only job is to advise. That'd be a pretty sweet gig.

Oh well. Now, if you'll excuse me, tomorrow is my last class of learning something new in math, so I need to be rested up for that. I've been taking Xanax for sleep because my doctor is a pain in the ass and wrote the wrong amount for Ambien, and if I don't go to sleep soon I'll be a zombie tomorrow. Only without the whole eating brains thing. Ew. (Katee)

watch out for the penguins!

The War on Penguins

OMG YOU LEAVE THE PENGUINS OUT OF THIS, MICHAEL MEDVED.

Wtf @ everyone being pissed about a movie teaching children to not pollute the planet.

Also, "darkest, most disturbing feature length animated film ever offered by a major studio"? Did we watch the same movie? Because I saw it twice and I totally remember everybody in the theatre cheering and clapping and dancing when it ended both times. Dark and disturbing it was most certainly not.

Look, okay, I know that you religious nuts are all excited about the end of the world or whatever and think that since Jesus is coming back anyway, you're all going to heaven so what's the point of keeping the planet clean, right? I'll tell you the damn point: Remember that verse from Genesis that talks about God creating the Earth? I don't think she/he would appreciate you lowly mortals destroying this creation. The other point is that there are, believe it or not, other people of different beliefs on the planet, too, who would LIKE TO KEEP IT IN WORKING ORDER, THANK YOU.

Now that that's out of the way, I think if you want to see a truly disturbing animated movie, you need to go watch Bambi ASAP because good GOD there must be a lot of people in therapy over seeing a baby deer watch his MOTHER get shot by HUNTERS who want to eat her. But I guess if that came out today, you people who say that it's liberal propaganda trying to stop people eating meat.

YOU LEAVE THE BABY DEER AND PENGUINS OUT OF THIS. They did nothing to deserve your scorn except want to keep their habitat free of Twinkie wrappers and Coke cans! You people have gone too far this time, striking at children's movies. When will you find something productive to do with your time? D: (Katee)

Where We Been

Holidays and starting yet another blog kept us busy this week.

Red River Blog Jam awaits you.

Plus we shopped a little bit.



About the photo: Shot it this morning while driving to the stores and surrounded by fog.

(Kathryn)

^_^

Happy Turkey Day!

Eat lots and lots of food, don't be afraid of the calories, people! It's the American way! ^_^

Deck the Ice

Big party last night at artspace. It was the opening show for Deck the Halls. Some of my bottle trees and photos were selected to be in the show.

All of us (Charlie, Katee and myself) attended but in separate cars. Katee and Meru flitted through the exhibit and then skedaddled to see Happy Feet. Charlie remained only a tad longer. I almost stayed til the end taking pictures of artists and their art.

On the way back I drove by Shreveport's Festival Plaza so I could see how the prep was going on the outdoor ice rink. I caught the Zamboni in action resurfacing the ice. It opens today and will be open non stop for the next 50 days.

ugh school needs to be ovvveerrr now.

Sooooo I've got a math test at 1:00 p.m., and then an adolescent psych test that's due on Friday, and I'm so very, very ready for this semester to be over. Thanksgiving Break is next week which means a full week to sit around and do pretty much nothing in the way of school. I do have a driving test I need to study for. When we come back from break, I think there are maybe two weeks until finals and I only need to go up to school for one, and then I will have to ability to do nothing omg. Hopefully BPCC will stop being the biggest whore in the world and send my damn transcripts to LSUS, so I'll be able to meet with an advisor and register for classes so that I can see exactly how many classes I'll be having to do over again. I'm gonna be in school forever wtf.

Oh well, it happens. Now that I have to ability (thanks to kick ass medication and the best therapist in the world) to go to school full time, I think maybe things will go a whole lot faster. And thanks to the discovery of Internet courses, school is not nearly as stressful as it used to be. Wee.

Tonight is the Journey/Def Lepperd concert! Yay! Meru and I are gonna be HOT tonight and people will stare at us all like, "WOW THEY'RE PRETTY!" And we will be, my friends. We'll be the hottest chicks there. I suspect will be some of the youngest chicks there, too, so possibly that will have something to do with our ability to wear sexy things and get away with it. :D Sigh okay, I'm gonna go over some math notes and do the review on the computer. ^_^

Off Grid

i'd like to live off the grid. buy a yurt. stick it on some dirt.

but the thing is my house will be paid off in three years. and there's all this crap i'd have to pack. i'd probably have to give up the computer and use an old manual typewriter.

and it could get stinky. i have outhouse experience through my mother's side of the family.

so. instead. i made a pot of black beans.

and sewed a winter cap out of the sleeve of a cotton sweater that was headed for Goodwill. let me make this clear -- i don't shop at Goodwill because i can't afford their high falutin' prices. i buy from church rummage sales.

i have wooden pallets that i'm turning into compost piles so i can make beds. perhaps plant a fig tree. although i don't know if i like figs. i like chocolate. maybe i'll plant some cocoa beans.

i did always want to live in a commune but i was born too late to be a part of that 60's scene so now i just don't shave my legs. although. i do shave my face because i don't want some long hangy whisker to be waving at folks. (Kathryn)

Who's Writing This Thing?

Crazy in Shreveport is about one family with three people in it (we won't talk about the four dogs and the four cats). The daughter and dad have bipolar disorder.

Who puts up these posts? Mostly the daughter and the mom.

How do you know whose post it is (because we were goobers when setting this up and didn't make it a team blog)? Katee, the daughter, usually has longer entries and her titles are normally not capitalized. Kathryn, the mom, usually attaches a photo to her posts, which are pretty short and she uses lots of capital letters in her titles. (Kathryn)

About the photo: Some of my work was selected to be in the Deck the Halls show at artspace. This is one of the digital prints I'll be offering. Big party this Friday night. And then you can shop your heart out November 18th-January 6th. Sneaked a peak at some of the art -- there's lots of cool stuff to acquire.

oh god.

Well, of course it gets all hot and humid outside and a storm front thinks it's an awesome idea to move in and make things terrifying.

I don't like storms.

If you've already heard this story, move along. I wasn't scared of storms until the seventh grade. It was Easter Sunday, I'd gotten my basket full of chocolate-y goodness, and noticed that it was quite cloudy outside. And then the thunder started, and the lightning came around, and the wind picked up. Since it was April, and there's pretty much no such thing as spring around here, it was hot outside. As you can imagine, wind+rain+hot weather=omgwtfscary.

I was sent to the bathtub to wait out the very, very scary winds, and took along Posh (our poodle RIP), and all of my Britney Spears and NSYNC CDs and posters, which were very important things to keep with me, you see. I attempted to bring along Sparkles, but she wasn't having it, and chose to wait out the storm running around the house and scratching people who got too close. Eventually things quieted down and I felt it was safe to venture out of the bathroom. My parents, who are crazy, were standing out on the porch because it is obviously a good idea to stand outside during 70 mph winds. Duh.

I went back inside to call a friend to see if she'd escaped certain death, and she had. While chatting about something completely irrelevent, I'm sure, I heard a loud cracking noise, a scream, and a gigantic THUD! This did not sound good. I hung up with my friend, ran outside, and discovered my mother crying and also a forest had suddenly sprouted in our yard. Luckily, the GIANT HOMICIDAL TREE OF DESTRUCTION was on city property, and I observed the city workers clearing it out as I was leaving for school, trying not to get tree-ick all over my white Oxford shirt and plaid skirt I was forced to wear everyday. Lol @ Catholic schools actually having those.

I wasn't really all that freaked out by the tree falling. It hadn't fallen during the storm, either. There was about a 15 minute period after the straightline winds had disappeared and the tree fell, but I'm still pretty terrified of wind. And there wasn't a tornado where we are, but I know there were a few tornadoes in the area, so I suppose I relate tornadoes with the storm that made me terrified of storms in general.

Damn straightline winds.

The storm seems to have blown over for now, actually, and the freak lightning cloud of doom that I witnessed has gone off to the East, so maybe that's all the terror we'll get for the night. Hopefully. It seems to have cooled off a lot, too. I was outside smoking and attempting to read The Princess Diaries and started shivering. Such a good book. I'd like to read the entire series because I would like to be a princess, and since Prince William has gone and gotten engaged or something, I think reading about it is as close as I'm gonna get.

Unless, of course, some relative I don't know comes to inform me that I'm the sole heir to the throne in some little-known, very wealthy country that has very few tornadoes and lots of snow. That would be pretty peachy in my opinion.

quick update.

This week has been pretty great.

Britney divorced Kevin, the Democrats took back everything ever in the history of government, and I understand math. Kick ass. I attempted to get my learner's permit today, but I failed the goddamn test by one question. Seriously, I don't fail things. This bothers the hell out of me. I may make Ds on things, but by God I don't fail things. I'm a Ravenclaw; failing is not allowed. D:

In other news, I'm exhausted. Stranger Than Fiction is coming out tomorrow. This is important because Emma Thompson (who is the best person ever), Will Ferrell (lulz funny), and Dustin Hoffmann (do I even have to explain why this is a good thing?) are all in it, and it's about novel-writing. Sweet Jesus, did the producers/writers/etc of this movie spy on me and decide to make a movie just for meeeee? Because that's pretty great if they did.

And because I feel like being random: Many people ask me what my goal in life is. And by "many" I mean "none," but bear with me, people. My goal in life is to be on The Daily Show so that I can A) giggle at Jon Stewart being completely awesome/sexy/funny/etc and B) get to answer a random ass question on the Seat of Heat. This means I have to get famous, and we all know I will, because I have fantastical mind powers and seductive beauty.

:D

Total Meltdown

We did okay for the 11 days I was off for vacation but then on Tuesday afternoon there was a big meltdown explosion.

Katee and Charlie were headed to the DMV to get her learner's permit (I know, I know most kids get their licenses when they are 16 or 17 but she's had some major anxiety problems). She comes back in to find her birth certificate -- she needs it now! Okay I know I've got it I just have to find it.

I tell her she has a state issued ID she won't need the document. She doesn't listen. Big fight. Ugly noises. Neighbor passes by and hears (I cringe, I'm still cringing). Charlie comes in. Fight gets bigger. We're all yelling. I'm spewing liquid B-12 everywhere. I find the certificate. Finally we calm down. She doesn't want to go because she's upset. He's upset because he's waited all day for her. Someone gets the bright idea that it's election day and maybe the place is closed. We check the DMV website. It's closed.

Soooo.

Instead we go to the poll to vote and then stand in the cosmetics aisle of the drug store to find a hot pink nail polish that will match Katee's car so Charlie can do some touch up on flaking areas. I wish someone would touch up my flaky bits.

!!!!!!

Britney Spears is supposedly divorcing K-Fed.

Excuse me while I EXPLODE IN JOY OMG.

WE GOT HER BACK HXC BRITNEY 4LYFE!!!!

Vacation

I've been on vacation for 11 sweet days. I could use another week to get caught up on all the house cleaning I started. It was a tender bliss just to hang out at my house for all those nights. Now chin up and back to work in the bowels of a riverboat that never cruises anywhere. (Kathryn)

writer's block.

I am trying so very hard to get my creativity back. I haven't actually written anything that's not a blog entry in months. I don't do poetry well at all, so I can't just write a few verses down and be content with it. I absolutely cannot wait for this semester to be done with so that I can do Christmas-y things, and also write about love and such. Lately I've been feeling like my writing is just not as good as it used to be, and I think I've figured out why.

When I started writing, like really getting into it, I was very much into the flowery descriptions and incredibly detailed dialogue. Everything I wrote was quite melancholy and. . .well, "glittery" is the word that springs to mind. I suppose the reason I never finished anything was because I spent so much time figuring out the prettiest word to describe things. Whenever I read White Oleander by Janet Fitch, I always feel the need to make beautiful descriptions. I can do it rather well, but thinking about everything takes up too much time. Now when I write I try not to make things too complicated. If a metaphor that's beautiful and unique actually occurs to me without too much difficulty, I'll use it, but I really try to keep things from going on and on and on.

Maybe I'll write something about Christmas. Honestly, I have no ideas right now as I've been so busy with math. Numbers constantly floating around in my brain is not conducive to creativity for me, so it's just been hard to think of anything. Sigh. I'm going to try to sleep now, but everyone in my house seems to be coughing loudly, so possibly this won't happen for a while. Really, my mother sounds like a goddamned dragon. :( She needs to get some cough drops ASAP.

:(

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe's seperation is making me sad. I hope they get back together because they were my favorite Hollywood couple ever. D:

harry potter related things.

Daniel Radcliffe is starring in a play called Equus. He's playing the part of Alan Strang, a young man who blinds six horses with a metal spike because he's batshit insane, obv. In one scene Dan will be required to ride a horse naked across the stage and, uh, have an orgasm. Or at least pretend to. When I first read about this maybe 6 months ago, I kind of wanted to blind myself with a metal spike, just to try to get those word to NOT be embedded in my brain because, you know, WHY IS HARRY POTTER ORGASMING ON A HORSE WHO DOES THAT. But then I saw the promo poster for Equus and it freaked me the hell out.

Ohhhh, Dan. WHY?

MY CHILDHOOD.

Also, please go watch Potter Puppet Pals in Wizard Angst. I promise it's a bucket of lolz. My favorite line is, "My parents are dead, my life sucks, I can't hold down a girlfriend, and I'm surrounded by fucking goblins and shit all the time. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK?"

Looolz.

In other news, I have nothing to do tomorrow and it's exciting. Well, I actually have to bake my dad a cake because it's his birthday, but other than that I have no school work to do. It's fantastic. :D I'm gonna sit around and read and listen to music and shit. Maybe even watch a movie. I've pretty much been doing shit nonstop for like three weeks, so the whole thing where I don't have to stress about getting something done is awesome. Yep, anyway, I'm out.

we live!

Uh yeah we're still here.

Just busy being productive!

I'm [Katee] writing an entry, possibly it will be up tomorrow!

October 2006 CIS

We are still Crazy in Shreveport.

Of course we couldn't let the month of Halloween pass without posting about zombies. Other subjects you'll find falling from your screen like a bunch of crunchy leaves: Pumpkin Spice coffee, Katee's 19th birthday, happiness, pancakes, tea, bottle trees, going days without running water in the house and boyfriend troubles.


About the photo: There was no under age drinking on our front porch on Halloween night. That's Katee and Meru sipping Lemon Ginger Beer while waiting for trick or treaters. We got plenty of them on D street in Highland.

Bleh

Bleh. Meaning fever and phlegm. And on the eve of my well deserved vacation. I'm loading up on vitamin C to see if I can shoo this stuff away.

Power outage today. Heard the transformer snap and everything go off.
Asked Charlie to call AEP SWEPCO.
"We have no phone."
"Use Katee's cell."
"Someone else will have done it."
"Please."
I just want to know that the power company knows. I don't want this to be the beginning of the zombie uprising.

Time passes.

I ask him (I'm eeking out orders from bed 'cause I'm sick) "Did you check to see if there were any whole chickens in the back freezer?"
"Not yet." He checks. "There are none."
Katee's bedroom door opens. "What's up with chickens?"
I answer while gulping down vitamin C and ibuprofen. "To distract the living dead. So we can make our get away."
She looks at me hard. Only like a teenager can do. "You better stop."

More time. Charlie and Katee drop off her prescriptions at Walgreens. The lights pop back on. Charlie bursts through the door with Pumpkin Spice coffee from Circle K (the white trash Starbuck's). He hands me a big cup. My hero!

And the phlegm is a little less green.


Zombie uprisings can start on beautiful days like the one pictured. Katee took it at this year's Revel while we were listening to Trout Fishing in America.

rain!

OMG it just randomly started pouring down rain. Loudly.

Mm today my shoulders hurt because Meru and I went to the T'ai Chi class and had lots of upper body workout fun. D: It was pretty amazing and smelled awesome inside. I dig aromatherapy.

Why is the rain so loud?

In other news, I want to go back in time, find whichever Babylonian decided it would be a good idea to invent algebra, and stab him in the neck a couple of times. *very unhappy face* I attempted to do nothing today, but it's impossible for me to sit completely still for long periods of time. I always have to be doing something with my hands.

This weekend should be pretty fun. Probably not so much tomorrow because I'm gonna be studying algebra and possibly taking a trip to the learning center at school if I don't start getting faster at this nonsense. On Saturday, however, Meru, her boyfriend Casey, and myself will be celebrating our birthdays. Casey's and my birthday was the 23rd, and Meru's is the 28th. Casey lives in south Louisiana, so he's coming up for a few days I suppose. I haven't seen him in a long while. The plan is to go to the fair, go to Macaroni Grill for dinner, and then go see Saw III. I may skip on the movie, though, because the Saw movies scares me and also because I might be too tired.

I thought Sara would be coming, but it appears that she is angry with me. This is probably because I gave her advice, so her thanks would be to shun me. Women piss me the fuck off. We are so stupid when it comes to men, and sometimes I wish they would all just fuck off and die. Or at least the ones my age because they're pretty damn useless.

Mm sorry, that just made me extremely mad. "Oh, thanks for helping me through a hard time, but now I'm going to not speak to you because you said something mean about my boyfriend!" Fuck your boyfriend. He's the one who got us into this mess in the first place. *flails angrily* DO NOT TALK TO ME IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THE TRUTH. Jesus Christ, hasn't anyone learned that I am the last person to bullshit someone? You'd think since I'm the person who is always like, "Uh, look, you need to shut up and stop being such an ass," my friends would have learned that you come to me for honesty and not bullshit. That just needs to stop because I was under the impression we're all adults here. Also: I am a snarky bitch who is very, very bad at not being blunt when confronted with asshattery. Think of these things, people!

Okay. That's better. For those of you wondering, it's possible for me to be less frustrated when giving advice, but when a person is being stubborn about something dumb, it's more difficult for me to not reach out and smack him or her upside the head. Slightly off topic, I've noticed that when I get extremely pissed off my eyes go out of focus for a few seconds. It's very noticeable when I'm typing up a rant because the screen gets all blurry and weird. I mean, I always heard the expression, "So angry I can't see straight," but I never thought it was actually, you know, true. Apparently it is.

It's rather late. I should probably go to bed. ^_^

i got all kinds of crap.

So I turned 19 and all this stuff randomly happened.

Sara and I started hanging out again.

I got a bright pink Honda Civic which I named Tinkerbell.

Everyone in the world wants to hang out with me all of a sudden.

It's pretty cool, I guess. Today I went to see my psychiatrist who made lol like crazy when he started talking about how cool math is. What a nerd. I also mentioned that I have the attention span of. . .something without an attention span, so he was all "LET'S TRY SOME DRUGS" and I was like, "Okay." I'm supposed to try Adderall XR for a few days. I got a voucher thing for a free prescription that came in a "starter kit" box with all kinds of crap in it, including a CD-ROM. Yay. I also got refills on everything else.

The waiting room was, like, extra-annoying and loud today. Some woman came in and was talking about how she thinks kids should be raised and how the driving age is too young nowadays and blah blah whatever, lady, no one cares about your parenting philosophy. And the driving comment makes no sense whatsoever. They made it 17 instead of 16 like 3 years ago. I don't think idiots should drive, but they still do, obviously, since you made it to the doctor's office. D:

Aaaaanyways. See, attention span. Nonexistant! Oh well, maybe the new pill will help. Tomorrow Meru and I are going to check out a tai chi class. I told her we should take tai chi and kung fu and then, like, fight crime with the aid of Tinkerbell [my car]. We would be UNSTOPPABLE!

Mmk bedtime.

Katee in Paris

For her birthday we splurged and hopped a jet to Paris so Katee could enjoy the City of Lights on her special day.

I lie.

We could have done that if Allegiant Air offered $75 one ways to France like they do to Vegas and Orlando.

Instead Sunday night we drove to the Downtown-O-Lights to celebrate Diwali at the park next to the Municipal Auditorium in Shreveport.

You can read more about Diwali at Shreveport.blogspot.com.

YAY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

I'M NINETEEN!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Happiness

I've come realize people in my family of origin have to work hard to be happy. Katee thinks this is sad. Or maybe it's that we're cheerful but we don't recognize it.

So in an effort to help me remember I'm more than capable of reaching sunshiney states of mind on a daily basis here's a current (partial) list of what makes me happy.

1. Getting prescriptions for reasonable prices not budget busting ones.
2. My goofy dog Eko when he hears me say "wanna go for a walk?"
3. Dealing blackjack in the high limit area.
4. Dealing 3 Card Poker.
5. When there's shrimp and or chocolate cake in the company dining room.
6. Days off.
7. Thoughts of my upcoming vacation.
8. Pounding giant nails into wood.
9. Drinking water from blue bottles.
10. Crushing cans with my new can crusher.

random whining.

I'm so tired today.

It's hot outside. I cannot deal with hot weather this far into October.

My birthday is in 5 days.

I got my transfer application into LSUS yesterday.

My neck hurts really bad.

I don't know why I'm so moody lately. Possibly my period is about to show up.

Ugh.

Pancake State

Sunday night we were tucked in for the night. Settled down to watch Zach Braff and Natalie Portman in Garden State. It's a film about twentysomethings that are lost.

Rick called and after much fancy old school disc jockey talking convinced Katee and me to go for pancakes. We put the movie on pause. Left Charlie sleeping on the couch and went venturing out (poor Charlie, just when things get settled in his system along comes another med change that keeps him tied to his life-boat-couch).

We ended up at Bossier's IHOP for smokes and strawberry waffles. There is no smoking allowed in the Shreveport IHOP and Bossier's management informed us there would be no smoking there after January 1 because of state law.

Believe it or not they were out of strawberries. Rick had to make due with whipped cream. Katee and I settled (sulked?) for water. No, really we had eaten all day and were not hungry. So we filled our time by taking myspace pictures of ourselves. At which time Rick had to stare at the two of us and make the realization we both have beauty marks just above our lips on the left side of our faces.

I first met Rick when I started working in Shreveport radio. He was the evening guy on KROK and I was hired to do overnights. That was over twenty years ago. It's good to reconnect with someone who knew you back in the day. It's like that Sunscreen Song:"... because the older you get the more you need the people who knew you when you were young."

Or maybe it's what Sue Miller has her first-person narrator think about in the novel While I Was Gone: "But here's what I thought: that if I had a crush, it was on an earlier Eli, one who didn't exist anymore, and the real Eli was just a vehicle for it. Or, perhaps even more complicated, that the crush --- if you could call something so psychologically distorted by such a playful name -- was on myself. The middle-aged Eli contained for me, of course, his youthful self, yes. But he contained me also. The self that had known him then. Myself-when-young."

So we could have stayed home and watched the flick but instead we went out to make our own little moving picture. I wanna script a movie about fortysomethings that are lost. It's easy to be twenty and muddling about but there are oh so many challenges to being almost half a century and still stumbling around. Welcome to my life.

Why Crazy in Shreveport?

Why did we start this blog a couple of months ago? We wanted to document our lives as a family dealing with bipolar disorder. Because being bipolar is more than what medicines you take or who your doctor is. It's also about how you make a life for yourself. This is how one Southern family is living with manic depression. These are the every day adventures of a bipolar dad and daughter and the mom who lives with them.

But if your wanting more information about the bipolar disorder in our lives you need to see our fairly new blog kathrynandkateebipolarjournal.blogspot.com. That one really deals with bipolar issues. This one is more about daily life.

haunted house on crack pt 2.

They had that Sahara from The Ring STARING AT ME, and then directing us where to go (that was pretty wtf-worthy, actually, the "patients" telling us where to go). That thing never ended. It wasn't a huge structure, but they made it all twisty turny and stuff, so it went on way longer than it should have. They had Michael Myers running around, and also Freddy Krueger, and there was a lot of pitch-black fucking darkness and I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO GO and then there was a lot of flashing lights and people with epilepsy should never go there ever.

One of the first rooms we went into was weird. There were all kinds of squiggly red lights reflecting off of everything and I freaked because that fucking noise from The Grudge was ECHOING OFF THE WALLS because these people ARE EVIL and attempting to run through these things is not an option because THERE'S NO LIGHT. And then we went into a room that had one of those bridges that, like, rotate and makes everyone sick and the Burger King I had for dinner wasn't happy with me. A lot of people popped out of places and jumped down from ceilings and it was horrible GOD. One of the last rooms was the padded cell, which was exciting because I was like, "We're in a haunted crazy house, WHERE IS THE PADDED ROOM?"

Only the padded room was FUCKED UP. Jason Voorhees jumped out at us WITH A REAL MACHETE AND HELD IT TO MERU'S HEAD. And then he smacked it on the floor and it SPARKED and we got the hell out of there REAL FAST. I wish I would've brought my machete in because mine is like 18 inches long and would've made his its bitch. And then some girl with a baseball bat was like PICK A DOOR ON THE LEFT OR RIGHT and we all know I have to argue about shit, so I pointed out that there was a door in front of us and she got like all irritated and shit. It was great.

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. In one room some guy swinging on a bar on the ceiling jumped down and was all in my face, but he was kinda hot, too, so it was cool. We finally got the hell out and it was AWESOME. But by then it was almost ten and Meru had to work the next day and I was exhausted, so we just left before entering the Factory. The most lolz-worthy was the interpretive dance stuff they had going on. These kids were all lip syncing and dancing to My Chemical Romance and Panic! At the Disco and also, for whatever reason, Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. Look, I don't know, the target audience was 15 year olds. The only decent one was when these people did Time Warp from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Then we left and drove back and yapped incessantly about everything ever (mostly about the WEIRD LITTLE CLOWN GUY) and I came home, posted the head-chopping off thing everywhere, and fell asleep. Thankfully I take Ambien to sleep which rids me of any unnecessary nightmares, so I was good in that department.


So that was awesome.

haunted house. ON CRACK.

Fucking wireless. Everything's moving very slowly and programs are taking forfuckinever to load. D:

So I guess I should elaborate on last night's entry. :P

I realized that it was Friday the 13th, in October no less, so it was imperative that Meru and I do something awesome, so we went to the Edge of Madness "Scream Park" in Calhoun. That's like out in the middle of nowhere. We brought my mom's machete and other pointy things for protection from potential zombie uprisings and nuclear-testing mutants wandering around (hey--it was Friday the 13th. These things happen). It took about an hour and a half to get there, and despite everyone in North Louisiana driving like bitches, we made it to Calhoun safely. We walked in and paid for all three attractions. Unfortunately, we only made it to one attraction, as the lines were insanely long and the haunted house thing was never ending.



I, of course, insisted that we go to "Insanitorium" aka the nuthouse. I tell you, if psych hospitals/units were really like that then my stays would be a hell of a lot more interesting. So we stood in line for about half an hour and it was kind of hard to tell who worked there and who didn't because a lot of the workers were dressed in all black and goth make up and shit, and some people were just, you know, dressed like that because that's what they were. While standing in line, the workers come up and fuck with you. Meru and I had encounters with a werewolf (I was tempted to ask for his number; he was totally hitting on me) and also a very small, very evil clown. Okay, look, everyone has issues with clowns. But this clown was, in fact, a little person. This dude apparently had problems with Meru because he kept freaking her the hell out. He'd come up and she'd be looking off into the distance and he would get all up in her face and she was all, "WHY DOESN'T HE LEAVE ME ALONE?"

Well, they were around the same height. THANK YOU I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK. Anyway, I was more irritated with the reaching out and "accidentally" brushing against us because I don't think they can legally, like, grab you but if they accidentally touch you there's nothing that can be done. Well, little dude kept reaching toward our legs and I DON'T KNOW WHY and that freaked me out so I was all like, "HEY YOU NEED TO STOP" and he looked up and glared and I was all *glares*. And then he went away. It was still weird, though. We finally got in, and that fucking asylum had everything that scares the shit out of me.

Continued!

friday the 13th!!

MERU ALMOST GOT HER HEAD CHOPPED OFF WITH A MACHETE IN AN ASYLUM.

That is all.

Ode to On-Air

Bottle Tree

I want to make art.

I've been gathering the materials to make glass bottle trees. The cut boards from Lowe's have been riding around in my van for about three weeks. Their fresh pine scent is a good one. Overpowering in a way that those little green pine trees could never be. And so much better than the giant ashtray smell going on at my place of work at the riverboat casino.

If I get all the base problems worked out I just may have found the right medium to express myself. Especially since my "raw" materials are empty bottles and I have to drink all kinds of cool beverages to get them.

A Party for Your Head

We made to the Revel last night to see Trout Fishing in America.
They'll be there through the week.

Then Katee and I dashed though the grounds glancing at the art. I was thrilled by the photograpy of Charles Bush. His large shot of a family of Roseate Spoonbills was so vibrant in color I stared at it and wondered aloud if he had created the image on his computer. He confirmed that those funky pink birds really do live in Louisiana. His prints were available in a variety of sizes and prices.

Katee begged for coffee and then she decided she was too tired and wanted to come back later in the week. So we tramped down the row of artists on the north side of the train depot and were almost out of booths when I discovered fiber artist Vanessa Cunningham of New Orleans. Her hats are millinery explorations for your noggin. Ladies of all ages were giggling like little girls at a tea party while trying on hats. How exciting to have your art make people feel so good.

Stress Tea

When I was a little kid and would go out to eat with my grandmother I'd get all excited because I got to order a Sprite. Bubbles! We had Pepsi at our house but that was for mom.

I thought my grandmother was crazy because most of the time she would order water. So not cool or tasty. I'd look across the table at Howard Johnson's and think I'm never going to eat out and order just WATER. Many years later I now find myself ordering water most of the time.

There's new study from the University College London that suggests drinking regular black tea may speed up recovery from the daily stresses in life. That's good news. I've had so much green tea in the last couple of months that I'm burned out. I'm trying the regular tea. Drinking it without sweetner, sugar or milk. I'm suffering from pucker tongue. I hope I get used to it soon because right now I'm sipping and cringing.

We Have WATER...

... and a new dishwasher and a new faucet and a big mouthed daughter...

After going weeks (really days but it seemed more prolonged) while Charlie installed the dishwasher and put in a new faucet we finally have plenty of running H2O.

I only had to make half a trip to the laundromat to wash my white work shirts, although since they're polyester I could have beaten them clean in the yard with a rock. After spending $2.50 on the wash Charlie drove up to say the water was back on and why not dry my pretty things at home and save that ten dollar bill I was holding.

The WATER ON situation didn't last long. In the midst of our celebratory dance under the ta-tas of the naked mermaid mural in the kitchen, Katee mentioned how I hated the new faucet since it was so low milk jugs couldn't be properly rinsed and why wasn't there a sprayer? I could have throttled her.

The next day he came home with a new one. And the next day, my day off, he wanted to install it. Since I had been reading The Zombie Survival Guide I knew the bare minimum I needed to do was fill the bathtub so the toilet could be flushed. As I dropped the drain plug and opened the taps, with big, droopy eyes Charlie looked at me and said, "You have no faith in me."

I shouldn't have doubted him. Hours later we had another new faucet complete with sprayer and running water.

whaaaat.

Well, that's the end of that relationship.

Let me tell you about this situation. Last night, after not hearing from Mike for like, 5 days and not seeing him for about 2 weeks, I figured it was time to take matters into my own hands and A) see what the hell was up, or B) break it off. I so did not see this coming. So I walked the three or four blocks to his place, in the crazy humid ass weather, saw his car in his driveway, knocked on the door, walked in the house, went to his room, opened the door, and I pretty much almost died.

There was another girl sitting on his bed sitting right next to her, and they'd been "watching a movie," but don't give me that bullshit, I know what happens when someone "watches a movie" with the lights out and a door closed. So he reached up and hugged me like it was nothing, like this was a normal occurrence. Wait, seriously? It was like he thought that if he didn't freak out, I wouldn't freak out, which I didn't. And then I took a look at the girl (Amber, apparently), and realized she looked like a goddamned chipmunk. Actually, she looked like me, in chipmunk form. Let me tell you, it was like looking into a Twilight Zone mirror of fug or something.

Dark red hair up in a half bun (like I always wear my hair), green eyes (!!!), glasses (!!!!), and I would say she was around my height and weight, but her teeth were kind of fucked up. AND UGLY. I thank God that I am stable (and possibly that I was too shocked to do anything) because if this had happened six months ago, there would've some Jerry Springer shit going on. So the whole time this is happening, my brain is only dimly aware of what's going on. The whole thing is hazy because it was so surreal. I mean. . .who does that? So I called him a son-of-a-bitch and walked out and I was in my This Is Not Acceptable mode, where I get very calm and pissed at the same time. He comes out after me (quite obviously stoned), like nothing was going on. It was fantastic.

Best. Break-up. EVER.

He was spewing all kinds of bullshit, "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE REALLY I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T CALLED I WILL CALL YOU I PROMISE YOU'RE OVER REACTING PLEASE I'M SORRY." Mmm, no. First of all, I'm pretty sure it really is what it looks like. Second, you can call, but I'm not picking up the phone. Third, I am most certainly not over reacting. If anything I'm under reacting. Over reacting would've included me stabbing someone in the fucking head, and possibly setting some things on fire. Over reacting does not include me being completely calm about things and walking away nicely. Last, don't you dare make anymore promises to me ever again. You also "promised" not to hurt me again, and not to be a complete ass.

Why I choose to date drug addicts, idiots, douche bags and/or sociopaths is completely beyond me. So, that's the end of that. Thank God I didn't sleep with him. I really don't fancy another pregnancy test. And wouldn't that be a bitch? Anyway, I called Meru after all of it happened who said she would come right over after work (which she did 'cause she's awesome) and I came home and wrote a Livejournal entry and then I got a bunch of comments and yeah I love my friends. I told Mike's brother Scott what happened and he's like the greatest little guy ever, so there was a lot of LOL's at the "chipmunk" comment. Scott rocks.

I think the most amusing thing about the whole situation was (besides the girl being ugly WTF) the fact that one of my first thoughts was, "Aww, man, now I'm gonna have to redo my Top 8 on MySpace. GOD THIS SUCKS."

Fin.

September 2006 at Crazy in Shreveport

Is it me or are the months just whipping by? Here at CIS in September you'll find postings about Katee's new hair color, pagans in South Highlands, Gold Dome Book Sale, Hurricane Katrina, Andrea Yates, talking microwaves, Katee in college, recycling and plumbing woes.

Still no picture of all three of us. That was one thing we wanted to get done in September. Oh well, tomorrow is another month... maybe then...

Faces of Katrina, an arts exhibit featuring stories and photos is now hanging at artspace on Texas Street in Shreveport through October 20.

Resurrected Car Thieves

Toting Water and Zombie Latrines

Had I read The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Living Dead I would've had plenty of water in large covered containers to weather Charlie installing a new dishwasher and faucet.

But I hadn't so I didn't. I've been forced to tote water from the neighbor's outside faucet. I slosh a jiggly seven gallon trash can across her yard and up two sets of steps so we can flush the toilet. At least we haven't been forced to designate a corner of the backyard to serve as a latrine.

Washing dishes is a nightmare since everyone keeps using the real things thinking the dishwasher and faucet are almost finished. I've cleared Brookshires of their cheap gallons of water. Of course all the big pots are growing mold in the refrigerator so I can only heat up tiny amounts of water at a time.

I've lost count of how many days it's been since we've had real plumbing. If this siege of my kitchen doesn't end soon we'll have to follow the advice on page 91 of The Zombie Survival Guide: "Remain entertained!... keeping a positive mental attitude is essential. Find the natural entertainer in your group and encourage him or her to develop a routine of shows... Who's going to plan a talent show when hundreds of zombies are scrapping at the gates?... Someone who knows that a group of rattled angry, frustrated people are just as dangerous as the hundred of zombies scraping at the gates."

I guess we should count ourselve lucky since we have cable TV and I don't have to wield a machete on the way to water refills.

i really must stop neglecting this.

See, the thing is, I have been told that I have the attention span of a goldfish. This is a problem when there are things I need to do, but cannot concentrate for shit on it. It's like school. It usually goes like this: "Hmm, I should read that chapter in Art His--OMG A NEW MYSPACE SURVEY!" And then I forget things. It's really quite depressing. The picture on the left demonstrates what happens when I procrastinate, usually ending in lots of pictures being taken of myself.

I've actually gotten more done this week, on account of how bored I have been. All 2 of my friends have been working a lot, so I've been attempting to get things done. I painted the front of my bedroom door purple and placed a fairy poster there, mostly to signify that my room is infinitely better than yours. :P I've gotten some reading done and a lot of math homework, too. This test is sooooo not gonna be as easy as the last one. Grr.

Meru and I are supposed to go see Talledega Nights tomorrow afternoon when I get out of class since I haven't seen it and she is like in love with Will Farrell. Meru's prettttty great. So yeah, basically nothing exciting has happened at all in the last week or so and it really, really needs to before I die of lack of excitement. :(

Overheard in a Shreveport Bossier Casino Parking Garage

Man in a newer model gray pick up flags down a woman in a flowered shirt. He leans out the driver's window. "You reckon I can get out of here?"

"Yes, sir. Just keep circling around and eventually you'll get out." She points to the exit sign hanging overhead.

He drives away. She notices the Texas license plate.

They really ought to not let those rice farmers out of east Texas.

The Dirt on Shreveport Recycling

Here's the visual for a great cartoon: A woman stands in front of three bins. They are marked PAPER, CANS and PLASTIC. She places her separated trash into these containers. What she doesn't see is that under the floor there are tubes that send everything into a trash truck headed for a landfill.

THIS ISN'T HAPPENING IN SHREVEPORT!

A post at Shreveport.blogspot.com on September 16 entitled "Garbage and the mayoral candidates" worried me enough to leave a comment. It was about the efforts to green up Shreveport.

After reading it I was concerned that my newly separated cans and plastic bottles were landfill bound. I blogged about it at my myspace site. Noma suggested contacting Liz Swaine. Here's what she had to say:

"Yes, there is always a market for aluminum. I also did some checking and found out that your plastics are being recycled, too, so you ARE making a difference! Here is the response I got from our superintendent of solid waste on the question: Plastic received at the Recycling Center is dispersed nation wide and processed to construct everything from polyester used to make carpet and other products containing polyester to new products made of plastic. Several of the companies we use are, Clean - Tech, a company in Dundee, Michigan and K. W. Plastics, in Troy, Alabama."

Didn't ask about newspapers because I don't recycle those, yet. I mostly reuse them in the litter boxes (yes we have two, sometimes three).

About the picture: These are cans waiting in my kitchen to get squished.

Won't You Be My Neighbor

Porch sitting. It's a fine tradition here on D street.

It was even better Sunday when neighbor Bob delivered delicious cookies his wife Pam baked.

Not only were they tasty (full of pecans, almonds, and chocolate chips) but also came in a beautiful package.

Charlie's only complaint. "I wish they'd bring them over every weekend."

academics and friends.

I've been neglecting my writing, but then again all of my online instructors decided that they should give their exams in the same week. I've been studying and it is certainly paying off. I have an A in math, probably for the first time in my life. Maybe since elementary school. Either way, it's awesome. Usually by the first test I'm down to a D and trying to work my way up to at least a C. It's different this time I think because my GED teacher actually worked with me, and the instuctor I have now is really great. It's all pretty much a review for me since what I'm doing now is around the ninth grade level and I had to learn it to pass the GED.

It's cool. I'm not even using a calculator because Ms. Black won't let us. She said it won't help in the next course we take, but I'm hoping I can just test out of that one. I never knew how to do fractions and now they're surprisingly easy to understand. The process is tedious and boring, but it's not hard. I resent the amount of time I spend on it because there are a lot of other things I can do with the hours I spend doing the homework, but that's okay. I feel kind of good about knowing how to do this stuff.

It's not just math that's been keeping me busy. Art History, which I thought would be much more interesting than it is, is a lot of reading. I'm not an art nerd. I appreciate visual art (paintings, sketches, sculpture, photography, etc) for its beauty and the passion an artist puts into her work, but I have always been partial to words and sounds. I find studying famous authors and listening to Beethoven far more interesting than reading about why the artist put a bit of coral pink paint on Jesus' thumb, or the symbolism of a certain hair cut. It's easy, but I'd rather learn guitar.

Adolescent psych is okay. The chapters in the book are quick to read and have some good insight on the way the average teenager's mind works, but it bothers me that there's no mention of chemical imbalances or any kind of psychiatric disorder other than typical teenage depression. It's as if the people who wrote the book failed to observe that teenagers can have psychiatric illnesses as well, and I would think that adolescent psychology textbook would address this issue. In the section about eating disorders, they only included anorexia and bulimia, completely ignoring binge-eating. Bulimia does have binge-eating, of course, but it's almost always followed by purging. Binge-eating by itself is very different. I'm going to have to take this course over again, as the credit doesn't transfer to LSU-S, so perhaps it will be different there.

And, lastly, there is History 101, which is Western Civilization I. We study civilization from the beginning of time to the renaissance. I'm quite into to history, especially the kind that doesn't get written into the textbooks and was hushed up for a long time before someone decided that writing a book about it would probably make a lot of money. While I like the subject, this particular course leaves something to be desired. When we studied the Greeks, the only mention of Greek mythology was a list of their gods with no explanation of what they were the gods of, nor any ancient Greek beliefs. The reasoning for this is that there are whole courses devoted to Greek mythology so if we want to learn about it we should go take one of those. This is stupid reasoning as there is no Greek mythology course of any kind at BPCC.

Other than school, I've been trying to make my room more aesthetically pleasing and hanging out with friends a lot more than I have in a while. My cell phone actually needs to be charged on a regular basis, which is an accomplishment because I used to only charge it maybe once a week. It's mostly been Megan aka Meru or Mike (and usually whoever is over at his apartment, like his brother or random other people) that I've been hanging out with. Life has actually been quite pleasant, other than the god-awful PMS I had for at least two weeks. My period finally came today, and I realllly hope it doesn't last for more than seven days. Despite the PMS of doom, Mom says my moods have been better than when I was on birth control. Odd.

More later.

Overheard at a Shreveport/Bossier Casino

Yuppie frat boy sits down at a $15 blackjack table. "Please don't blow smoke in my face," he whines to the female dealer. "The Horseshoe dealer blew smoke in my face four times last night."

She lifts her left eyebrow and looks at him. "I didn't know they let'em smoke at the table."

"They don't. I was smoking and blew it in his face."

"Four times?"

The young man smutches ash all over the green felt. "I forgot."

"Honey, I make no promises. You blow smoke in my face. I'm gonna blow it right back. Changing one hundred." She pats the table and scoots a stack of red cheques to the boy. "Good luck."

We're all gonna need it.

There is Something Bradburyish about a Talking Microwave

andrea yates.

I've just read a story about Andrea Yates in Texas Monthly. When this actually happened, I was about thirteen years old. I was far too busy being excited about entering high school to do more than watch the stories on TV about it. I don't think I would've been able to appreciate the magnitude of the situation at that age anyway. All I knew was that a mother had killed her children. But I also knew that things like that happened. Over the years, though, I've watched news stories and video clips from the courtroom and have found myself horrified at all of it.

The story is by Skip Hollandsworth and I was very impressed at the delicacy and tact the story is written with. I mean, here is a woman with five children (none of which were more than two years of age apart) with a history of post partum depression. She is encouraged to keep reproducing by members of her church even though it was a very, very bad idea to do so. I suppose her husband got tired of her being dependent on himself and his mother, as he announced that he would be leaving her alone for one hour in the mornings and one hour in the evenings to increase her maternal responsibility. He didn't bother to tell her psychiatrist.

I also understand that Andrea Yates was not acting like herself and that her mother was stunned at this plan because of Andrea's actions of late, like giving a toothless infant solid food. Her mother said Andrea was meticulous about this kind of thing because she knew solid food is not exactly good for a baby with no teeth. Her psychiatrist had taken her off of the antipsychotic she was taking, and instead upped her antidepressants. On June 21, 2001, she drowned her children in their bathtub because she felt her children were damned and she needed to save them.

I have not had a child, so I have never had post partum depression or psychosis, but I do know the signs and symptoms and I do know that this woman was suffering from both of these. There are people who still say she is selfish and evil and just wanted to be rid of her children, but they're wrong. Someone who is evil does not show remorse when she comes to realize what she has done. Someone who is evil does not miss whomever she killed. Someone who is evil would shed no tears.

I am appalled at the mental health treatment she received. I am appalled that she was encouraged to keep having children. I am horrified that a psychiatrist lied during the trial just to see her go to prison, suggesting that she got the idea from television, especially when the episode in question was never made. I am saddened that people still think she is evil. And I am disgusted that people are angry because she was sent to a state hospital, thinking she's getting off easy. I know what state hospitals are like, and I'd rather be in prison. Those hospitals are horrible. A patient has no rights. Prisoners have more rights than patients confined to a state psychiatric hospital.

Andrea Yates might get better. She might not. Either way, she will have to live with the knowledge that she killed her children, even if she didn't mean to, even if she believed she needed to at the time. I think that will be enough of a punishment without ignorant people calling her evil and condemning her to hell. The entire thing makes me sad. It makes me wish that people would take psychiatric disorders more seriously. It makes me wish that they would understand we did not ask for this. We do not enjoy it. It's not for attention. I wish they would understand that it is not demons that need to be cast out and that it won't go away just because we find God. I feel for her and her whole family and anyone involved. It is a sad situation, but I can't help but think that if she'd had more support and better care, I wouldn't be writing about this.

men are kind of clueless.

Men are so. . .urgggh. It is apparently absolutely impossible for them to pick up a phone and call. Okay, look, in this day and age of cell phones it's pretty easy to call someone. I know I even call people without meaning to if I forget to lock the keys when I have a non-flip phone. If you're out of minutes, don't tell me that there is no one else you know that has a cell phone that you can borrow. I mean, holy shit, just about everyone has a cell phone or at least a land line.

I only bring this up because when my mom and I got home from running errands, my dad was gone. This was 4 pm. We figured he'd gone to the grocery store or was getting stuff looked at on the Blazer. I decided to take a nap, and when I woke up at 6 he still wasn't home and hadn't called or anything. My mom went to take a nap, but kept getting up every 5 minutes to see if my dad had called or was home or something. We were all freaked out. He finally came home like 15 minutes ago and sure enough, he'd been getting the Blazer worked on, as he came home with a car CD player front in his pocket.

LEAVE A NOTE OR SOMETHING. Jesus, what is wrong with you people? Every store in the world has a phone that you can use! Paper and pencil work wonders when you can scribble down "I've gone to run around, be back later!" so that we know you haven't been like kidnappedand set on fire or something. Women are natural worriers. DON'T MAKE IT WORSE. Pick up a goddamn phone and call us. YOU HAVE FINGERS, USE THEM! If you don't, then get someone else to dial the number, DAMMIT.

*flails*

Emergency Pet Carrier

Will we always remember the beginning of September as the time of Katrina and 9/11?

All this news coverage reminds me that with four dogs and four cats and one hard plastic pet carrier it would be difficult for us to evacuate everyone safely.

Skye, the Min Pin, is test driving our in-a-pinch emergency pet carrier. It's a mesh laundry bag. They are two for five dollars at our neighborhood Walgreens.

am i the only one?

I think I've become completely bored with my life, which is odd because lately I've been out doing stuff with friends. It hasn't been the same, though. I've reconnected with a lot of old friends. Even Cory messaged me the other day on MySpace. He even called, which was strange because I deleted his number from my phone forever ago and assumed he'd done the same. It's just. . .I've been thinking about how grown-up we've all become.

My friend Meru and I went out the other night and had a whole lot of fun and everything, but it was so different. Meru's kind of been doing the same thing that I have for the past year. We've both been having some pretty difficult times, so when we hung out for the first time in probably about a year, it was awesome because we just picked up where we'd left off, like we hadn't been completely isolated from people for the last year. We were always great friends, though. I think it's mostly because our personalities are so similar: We're loud, silly, unashamedly and undeniably ourselves, and people either love us or hate us. I'm pretty sure no one has ever said, "Yeah, I know Katee/Meru, she's okay."It's always, "She is so awesome!" or, "Ugh, I hate her."

Anyway, it just struck me how much we've matured. We're still ourselves, but just, um, calmer, I think. More laid-back and more serious and focused about our futures. It used the be, probably two or three years ago, that when we went out, we didn't stop going until about 5 in the morning and even then we were reluctant to go home. We had a pretty great adventure on Tuesday night and even talked for hours on my porch until sleep started calling because of classes and work the next day. We tried to go out last night but we were completely exhausted and the night ended at abou 9:30. It was sad.

Maybe I don't have to try so hard to prove that I'm happy because I actually am happy now. I mean, everything's just so different. I'm still me, but like a more low-key version. I still don't hesitate to call someone out for being an asshole, but I don't go out of my way to pick fights. It's too exhausting and frankly, there are a lot better things I'd like to use that energy for.

I think it's like this with all my friends and former friends now. A few years ago it was so not unusual for someone to get arrested. Now we just don't have time for all that nonsense anymore. We're too busy going to school or working or both to go out and wreak havoc on the Shreveport/Bossier area. It's really kinda of depressing. I remember being ready to leave whenever anyone called, even if it was like 11 pm. Ending up in the outskirts of town at a gas station with a bunch of scary Texas Chainsaw Massacre looking people was quite common and enjoyable, and I miss it. I miss the spontaneity and adventure of it all. Growing up kind of sucks.

I'm also aware that I sound like a shithead talking about all this because I'm only 18, but holy crap, it sucks. I don't care if you're 70 years old, you know you miss being completely carefree. There were no student loans to worry about or GPAs to fret over. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely content with my life, but I miss being stupid like that. Now I'm more cautious, which makes me feel pretty lame.

Sigh. It's too late to be writing about this. I've been trying to make my history notes legible and now I'm irritated at how tedious that can be and am pretty pissed that I had to do it at all.

woooow busy!

So I definitely haven't had to time write anything in any journal in forever. I've been so busy, holy crap. I've barely been in my room and poor Kizzy is all sad and lonely. The good news is that my mom has her own computer and I have my laptop, so all is well. And our wireless actually works. Yay.

Does anyone remember that guy that I was talking about a few entries back? You know, the one who was like my first love and all that stuff. Heh, about that. He randomly called me one night and said, "I just got off work and I wanna show you my car." So he did and we drove around a lot. I finally saw the house that his family moved into, which wasn't that big of a deal because it's directly across the street from their old one, and he moved out of it like two days ago anyways into his own place with this other dude.

Apparently said other dude doesn't ever clean because that place is gross. I mean there's not like, clothes and crap everywhere, but there's a fair amount of food sticking to the kitchen countertops. I attempted some cleaning, but they didn't have any paper towels. I did wash their dishes which was easy because they have a dishwasher. But, um, it seems to be too much work to put the dishes in the dishwasher. Eurgh.

So we're not really dating but we kind of are. I don't even know if I want that to happen, but I feel really comfortable around him, even if he can be kind of a dick. It happens, I guess. He irritates the shit out of me when he "forgets" to call. He's all, "It's not a big deal!" I don't really care if we agree to like not see each other until the weekend or something, but it is SO rude to say "I'll call you tomorrow" and then. . .you know, not.

Eh. Whatever. I stayed at his house last night. Attempting to sleep when there's a giant snoring male beside you in a twin bed isn't all that spectacular. I think he should get a bigger bed 'cause. . .yeah, I don't dig being pushed off a bed. But hell, it's something. He's only 21; it's not like he's gonna be able to afford a mansion or anything. Mike's job pays well, but he's definitely not rich.

Also, he has a flat iron. And a blow dryer. Because he is apparently a girl. Seriously, um, he's about 6'5" and like 250 pounds and watches football and drinks beer, but his hair is longer than mine and kinda curly, so. . .hahaha. Yep, a flat iron. Jesus.

Okay, Meru is coming to get me and we're gonna go attempt to find something to eat for $20. This might be an adventure.

Gold Dome Book Sale

You didn't think I was gonna let the Gold Dome Book Sale on the campus of Centenary College come and go and not post an entry about it, did you?

I waited in line Friday night to shuffle in with everyone else and bought $53 worth of used books. My problem of how to tote two big bags back to my van was solved when Josh raced up in his golf cart. This nice young man took my parcels and swung them into the back while I plopped onto the seat next to him. Josh plays baseball for the Centenary Gents and was part of all the great volunteers who make the sale such a success every year.

I'm only sad that I didn't get back over there on Saturday. Oh well, I've already got the 2007 sale marked out on my calendar.

Change

All the little (and big) fibers in my body are trembling because of the changes going on around here. They're good ones like new computers so we can write more but getting the things up and running are shaking me. I'm such a creature of habit.

Getting blog posts out has become nearly impossible because of all this shifting around. I need to be squished under a giant body pillow or someone should come install a hot tub in my back yard... never mind that would involve more change.

One interesting thing all this has stirred up is the really strange relationship I have with money. Who would've thought having enough money would cause a person to have anxiety?

Pagans in South Highlands

My new addiction is night walking. I do it on my nights off. Load up Eko, our black cocker-poo mix goofy dog, and head to the side street of The First Baptist Church of Shreveport.

I snap the automatic dog leash onto Eko's collar and we're walking the streets of South Highland making observations: Most of those people don't turn on their porch lights. And a good number of them live in the back of their houses because they don't put up curtains in the front and leave all the lights on so I can see the fashionable colors slicking their walls.

Earlier this week the sky was fairly bright because the full moon is tonight. Two streets over from the big church I ran into a group of young adults standing in their front yards. I think "Yeah, it's pagans celebrating the full moon." Turns out to be they're waiting for the realtor to show them the house next door because it's for sale. Oh well, I should have surmised South Highlands wasn't paganland because there were too many Jerry Jones for Mayor signs. However I did note there was a Liz Swaine sign planted at a house directly across from the Baptist Church.

Getting Your Hair Did

Katee's got new hair! Make that new color. She went from black and orange to a nice rich red color.

Over at KKBJ I posted about using a national pharmacy for getting meds. Then I started feeling guilty cause I normally try to go to locally owned places.

Well, you can't get more local than Brothers Hair Design. It's in our Highland neighborhood and was the official hair salon for the Miss Teen USA Pageant for 1998 and 1999.

While I didn't get my hair did, I did take advantage of their mirrors and noted my home hair cut job wasn't too shabby.

"Pretty good," I said.

"Oh for God's sake, at least break down and go to the beauty college and get a five dollar hair cut," Katee said as she flipped her new do this way and that.

What and waste six dollars (I do tip) when the Gold Dome Book Sale is this weekend? Nope.

Brain SWAT

August 2006 at CIS

Another month gone...cooler temps have trickled onto D Street, the main headquarters for crazyinshreveport (or as I like to call it CIS which is kinda like CSI but not...).

What you'll find in this month: having company over, Will Clarke's excellent book The Worthy, the emergency room at LSU Hospital, Katee getting her GED and going back to college, no children's hospital for kids with neurobiological disorders, loving your DVR and getting a new computer.

You'll notice we didn't blog much about bipolar disorder. We've started a new blog that deals with being bipolar. Check it out here.
Goals for September at CIS include: putting a family picture under the profile section so you can see what we look like (Sears Portrait Studio here we come... uh, not).

C-R-A-C-K

Wee bit cooler weather means I've ventured out onto the porch again, 'cause I love me some porch sitting in the rocking chair.

Charlie and I sipped coffee while the wind the whipped, teasing us like rain might soon shower down. We heard this c-r-a-c-k and looked to the tall oak tree across the street. A branch loosened itself and fell to the ground.

Shades of Eudora Welty and A Curtain of Green: "...the shady street in front, and the blue automobile in which her husband approached, driving home from work...she could see again the tree that was going to fall...there was the enormous tree, the fragrant chinaberry tree, suddenly tilting, dark and slow like a cloud, leaning down to her husband..."

Unlike Welty's story no one died under our tree branch. After taking a couple of pictures, I tugged the thing up on the curb and then swept up the mess. We never did get any rain.

um. what?

Oh sweet Jesus.


This guy has some serious fucking issues. Because, you know, what's creepier: the person who killed Jonbenet or the person who wishes he killed Jonbenet? Some of his quotes and ideas are equally creepy. The best part about the article is this:

Karr had made graphic claims in a series of emails about JonBenet's killing, describing sexual acts with her, her death and writing at one point that he envisioned Johnny Depp playing him in a movie about how he killed JonBenet.

Okay, first of all, Johnny Depp would probably kick your ass for saying this. And second of all, you wish, Creepy McFugface.




VS.




Lol no. Johnny Depp is not creepy enough to play this goob. Also, Johnny doesn't look like a corpse. And if Johnny Depp played him in a movie I think my soul may die a little because I love Johnny. No sir, Willy Wonka is as creepy as you are allowed to be.

we're still alive and equipped with a new computer!

Okay, we're still here, I promise. It's been an irritating last four days computer wise. My grandpa bought me a new laptop, so I had to unhook and re-hook everything up and getting the Internet back on was a bitch because I didn't have the software for the modem. But now everything's peachy and Mom's computer should be Internet-ready maybe today or tomorrow.

I think we're going out to eat tonight because my parents' 20th anniversary and for my GED, but Mom said something about lunch because it's cheaper. I think dinner would be more appropriate. Seriously, that woman needs to loosen up a bit.

Anyway, I need to go shower and stuff because I have class at 1. I would skive off if they didn't take attendance and I got more than 4 unexcused absences per semester. :(

Driving with a Broken Air Conditioner

A couple of days ago I blogged about the air going out in the van. We are working on getting it fixed (read that last sentence as -- is there money in the budget and when is pay day?).

The good news is that the house AC works. It's the van's fan that's gone on the fritz. Here is the cardboard thing Charlie and my brother rigged up so the back AC kinda blows to the front.

If you look closely you'll see the bad hair cut I gave to myself (it's really hard to get scissors to work right behind your head).

Overheard at a Shreveport/Bossier Casino

Five dollar Three Card Poker table is where I ended up last night.

I get this guy on first base who's my age and kinda fun. Except he's grabbing at his cards before I push them back to him, which is a big no-no. I tell him it happens again, I'm getting my flyswatter. Of course, I say it with a smile.

His eyes light up. "Is it the electric kind?"

"What a waste of money. I saw those at the Bass Pro Shop." I riffle the cards and drop them into the shuffler.

Cute girl at the table asks what's an electic flyswatter? He explains it looks like a tennis racket and it zaps the bugs when you swat them.

"WASTE of MONEY." This time I say it in all caps.

The guy grins. "Me and my buddy were sitting around without shirts..."

... I know where this story is going. The funny thing is he's telling this to total strangers.

"... he takes the thing. Puts it on his nipple. The jolt throws him to the floor."

Aaahh the magic of a casino... what happens in Shreveport stays in ...

do you see what i had to put up with on a daily basis?

Four years ago, not long before I decided to give up high school, I started my sophomore year in good spirits. I had mostly honors classes, except for math and whatever they didn't actually give honors courses for, which (I assumed, anyway) that I'd be learning with generally smart people. I might've gone for AP classes, and probably gotten into them, but that much work seemed like a huge waste of time. Anyway, I was now a sophomore with freshly dyed blonde hair (complete with scabby burns from the bleach that was left on for too long, thanks Mom!) and lots of cute new clothes.

My favorite class would, of course, be English. Even if my teacher sucked, I knew it would be enjoyable because it's English and I rule at it. On the first day of school, I discovered that my teacher did not suck and was, in fact, a delightfully dry-humored man who collected canned meat because of the odd ingredients, like plastic or something. A few weeks into the semester, the whole class got into a debate about whether hunting for sport was okay. Predictably, just about everyone in the class agreed that hunting just so they could put a moose's head on a wall was perfectly fine. I should've known, what with all the hunting camouflage that was worn in the classroom.

Interestingly, once the debate got slightly heated, I noticed that I was seated smack dab in the middle of every idiot that could weasel their way into an Honors class. This did not make me happy at all. And then a girl a few seats away from me spoke up and said that she didn't like animals and they're just for food, and that one time she killed a mole with a broomstick. When I snorted derisively and asked this bitch why she'd do that, she said it was because it scared her. OH GOD THE HORROR. WHEN MOLES ATTACK! So, she did what she had to do to defend herself, and that was to attack a mole that was probably all lost and shit with a broomstick. Mr. P looked at her and says, "Um, you know moles are blind, right?"

Apparently this affected the young lady because suddenly she felt all bad, as if killing a rodent that can see for no reason is any better than killing a blind one. And how the fuck do you not know that, anyway? So she says, "OMG BUT HOW DO THEY KNOW WHERE THEY'RE GOING!!!!" Look, I'm pretty sure that after millions of years of evolution the moles have adapted a system of finding their way around. This chick was what I would call a dingbat. As in, she was constantly saying stupid shit. After that incident, I picked up my books and moved to the corner of the classroom that held smarter people (read: the ones that had this look on their face while she talked about the mole incident: O_O). Mr. P didn't challenge this at all. In fact, he didn't even say anything, he just gave me this look like, "Well thank God, there's another one who's not an idiot."

Mr. P was pretty damn cool. He had a sense of humor that isn't appealing to most high school kids ('cause, you know, you had to actually think to get it), and even had a way of mocking the, uh, slower kids while making them think he was laughing with them instead of at them. You know, sophomore year probably would've been cool if I hadn't gone all bipolar on everyone. No, seriously, I got the correct diagnosis in September of that year. I was actually extremely social. After I got out of the hospital, my friend Gene (who ended up being my boyfriend like 3 times after that, but he's kinda dumb so that didn't work, obviously) called me up like five hours after I got home and was all, "You wanna go to a football game?"

Pfft, you know it. This was before I was openly smoking in front of my parents, so I took every chance to get out of the house and sneak a cigarette or twenty. Good times, man. That's when I was all into the baggy pants and clothes from PacSun and Gadzooks before they both got shitty and the colorful bangle bracelets and Chuck Taylors. Except my Chucks were the fake kind from Wal-Mart because fuck paying $40 for a pair of old-school sneakers. I'm actually wearing my Hurley shirt that I got for that school year. Good memories are pretty awesome.